Hey there, dearest readers. It’s been over a month now since I’ve had anything to publish. What a shame, because it certainly looked like we were taking a step in the right direction where I left off in my last blog. Unfortunately, things sort of took a sour turn for me in the last few weeks.
Around the time I posted that blog, I’d began to experience pain and discomfort that quickly became unbearable. I eventually gave in and decided to visit a doctor. (Yes, it took me hunched over in pain at my work desk to finally cave!) As it turns out, I was suffering with a gastrointestinal infection, or GERD. I had to completely change my diet, I had to quit alcohol and sodas, foods and drinks with red dye were out of the question, hell, I even had to give up sparkling water (my favorite!) I started eating foods bland, cooking without spices, and that led to me simply eating less. I lost a few pounds, albeit not in a healthy way, and lost a whole lot of energy during those first few weeks following my diagnosis. Since then, I’d say things have gotten a lot better, I was able to get back into the gym, and even start to get back to a semi-normal diet thanks to my medications. And best of all, I found the motivation to finally get writing again after over a month of radio silence on the blog.
It seems that every time I put out a blog overcoming one obstacle, another comes and blindsides me. One step forward, two steps back it seems. It can get pretty discouraging at times, but I’ve learned to keep bouncing back from the lows and aiming for the highs. But I’m a firm believer in signs, karma, and all that jazz. About a week ago, while running in and out of the grocery store at lunch time, I ran into a troubled part of my past. I wrote a lot about that time in my life, the hell I went through, and how for so long, I allowed that experience with that individual to define my life and especially my current relationship. It was something I let dictate my actions for so long, and something I’ve worked so diligently to put behind me. But I ran into that person in the midst of a grocery store trip, and for the first time in a long time, I was able to smile in their face and feel absolutely fearless. I wasn’t scared. I wasn’t angry. I wasn’t resentful. I was at peace. And it was in that moment, I was thankful for all that bullshit, not because it defined me, but because it molded me. It helped me to grow.
Recently, Ariana Grande released “thank u, next,” a song about being grateful for exes because they all played a part in her becoming who she is today. I guess in a way, I could be thankful for exes, but no. Today I’m thankful for the obstacles, setbacks, illnesses, injuries, and especially the situations I once imagined would define me for life. I’ve been able to take those situations and use them to grow myself into a woman who laughs in the face of adversity. I’m done letting these things bring me down. I’ll continue to rise from here, and I’ll be coming up better than ever. I’m sure more setbacks will present themselves in my life along the way that I’ll have to overcome. There’s no preventing nor denying that. All I have to say to that is….
thank u, next.
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